It was after midnight. It didn't matter it was late, it was the weekend. He just needed to get out of his sweaty bed. He grabbed some shorts and put on his shoes and closed and locked the door behind him. he didn't know where he was going. Just decided to walk until he got sleepy. Eventually he came across an all night diner. The kind that had other restless souls eating food or drinking late night coffee. The kind of place that had neon signs for beer and that said 'open all night.' He decided to go inside and maybe have some tea or something.
The place had five booths against the windows and a long bar with tavern style stools. There were only two other people at the bar. Both minding their own business with their heads low. Not the types that were looking for conversation. Neither was Felix. He just wanted to get tired enough to sleep and go back to his place. He took a seat leaving enough space so he wouldn't bother any one and no one would bother him.
A waitress came over to him and asked, "what can I get cha?" as she looked at him loudly chewing on some gum.
"Uh, do you have any chamomile tea?" he asked.
"Yeah, we do."
"Uh, yeah. Can I get that. Thank you." he replied as he dug into his pocket to pull out his phone.
"Sure thing."
He started scrolling through social media posts for a moment before the waitress came back.
"Here you go hun. Let me know if you need anything else," before walking away to her corner on the other side of the bar where she would lean on the counters and scroll through her phone.
"Okay. Thank you," he replied as he grabbed the tea bag and slowly dipped it up and down in the hot water.
He continued looking at his phone for a few more minutes before hearing a voice behind him.
"Hey...Hey you. Over here," someone called out.
He looked up and turned around toward the voice. It was coming from a man sitting in a booth alone. He was dressed in a heavy black coat. Dark boots and greasy long hair.
"Hey. I know you. Come on over. Have a seat man," he said in a joyful way.
"No, it's okay," Felix replied trying to just get back to his tea and turn around.
"Come on man. It's Felix right," the man said. Well now he couldn't ignore the man. He did know him. He had to at least say hi or pretend he wasn't who he was. "I'll buy ya a drink," the man said. Well, now how can he ignore that. "Hey waitress, umm, Daphne right. Can you get my friend a beer. Same thing. Put it on my tab. Thanks babe."
"Sure thing hun," the waitress replied from the opposite end of the bar. No one else even looked up. No one else even cared what was going on. It was a series of small events that happened so fast that he felt obligated to sit down with this man. So he got up and walked over to the booth where the man was sitting.
"Hey man. How long has it been?" he asked with a large smile.
"Do I know you?" Felix asked.
"Yeah man. You don't remember me?" the man replied with a disappointed look on his face. "Come on man. You know me," he continued as he gestured his hands towards his face as if the gesture itself would somehow help Felix's memory. It didn't.
"Uhhh...."
"Come on. It's Julian. Claude's brother."
"Oh yeah. Julian," Felix replied. He did remember him. He also remembered that he didn't really like him. "I remember now. I haven't seen you in ages. Probably since college. How you been?"
"I've been good. I mean I've been better right?" Julian said in a half joking kind of way. "I mean who hasn't. The world has gone to shit and all the good days seem to be behind us right."
"Yeah. I know what you mean," Felix said as he lifted his tea and took a small sip.
"I mean, shit, at least I'm having a drink with an old friend, right."
"Sure, yeah," Felix replied not really agreeing with him but he didn't want to cause any kind of tension. He remembered Julian being kind of a loose cannon in college. Always getting into trouble. Doing dumb things when everyone was telling him not to. Like one time, he jumped off the roof of a frat house into a pool right in front of some cops. They didn't do anything but that was Julian. Always doing something dumb and somehow getting away with it.
"Speaking of which, where is that beer?" he said as he jerked his head around seemingly looking for the waitress. "Ah, here she comes."
"Here you go hun. You still keeping your tab open?"
"Here you go hun. You still keeping your tab open?"
"Oh yeah. I have an old friend here now," he said flashing a huge yellow smile. "We'll probably have a few."
"Oh, I'm just have the one, thanks," Julian added.
"What. No way man. Come on. We haven't seen each other in years. Nah. You have to have a few with me," he said as the waitress walked away.
"Look man. I'm only really out tonight because it was hot as hell in my apartment and couldn't sleep. I'm not trying to stay out too late."
"That's fucking lame man. Can't even have a fucking few drinks with me. I'm even fucking paying. What the fuck is that?" he said as his tone turned more serious. To avoid any escalation Felix just said okay, he'll have a few. The last thing he wanted was to make a simple night into a complicated mess. He would just finish a beer and hopefully Julian wouldn't make a big deal when he left.
"Alright man," Julian said as he took a huge gulp of his beer. Felix only took a small sip.
Wiping his mouth dry Julian continued, "so what you been up to all these years? You get married? You have kids?"
"Nah. No kids," Felix replied looking down avoiding eye contact. He didn't really want to touch that subject.
"Fuck the kids, am I right," Julian replied as he let out a gargled, wet sounding laugh. It made Felix want to clear his own throat. "Who the fuck wants kids anyway."
"Sure," Felix replied.
"How about a woman? You got a woman?"
"Had. I had a woman," Felix replied hoping Julian wouldn't ask too much about it.
"Ah, no way man. I'm sorry. Did she cheat on you? Or what did the bitch do?" Julian asked as he took another drink from his beer.
"No. No. Nothing like that. We just fell out of love." Felix said with some vulnerability in his voice. He didn't know why he just said that. Fell out of love? Why was he sharing anything at all with him. He needed to keep this conversation more simple. He didn't really know this man. Maybe ten or twelve years ago they would hangout but a lot can happen in a decade. Hell, even he changed a lot in a decade. He's barely the man he was all those years ago.
"Fell out of love?" Julian replied with a look of dismissal. "Fell out of love? That's some gay sounding shit right there. Yo. Are you a fag now because she left you? It's okay if you're a fag. I got no problems with fags but you gotta know I ain't trying to fuck you or anything because I bought you a beer or nuthin' like that."
"What?! No man. I'm not gay," Felix replied recoiling in weird shock. That took a turn he wasn't expecting.
"Okay, phew, haha," Julian replied wiping his hand across his forehead in a playful manner.
"Do you have to say fag?" Felix asked and immediately felt like this was going to cause some tension.
"Oh man. Don't tell me you're one of these fucking snowflake types of fucking people where everything fucking offends them. God, that shit pisses me off so much," he replied with his tone turning very serious now. There was no playfulness in his words.
"Nah. I'm not. I'm just saying..." and before Felix could finish Julian interrupted, "You're just saying what? Huh? What? That I'm wrong? That I can't say the shit that I want to say? Now I can't say fag because it hurts your feelings? Fuck that shit."
"Look maybe this isn't a good idea. Maybe I should just go."
"Nah. Sit down. Finish your beer. Don't be such a pussy. I don't remember you being so soft man."
"Honestly I barely even remember you Julian," Felix finally said. "What have you been up to?" he asked trying to change the subject.
"What have I been up to?" Julian replied as he moved his eyes upward seemingly giving it deep thought. "Oh you know, drugs. Alcohol. Fucking bitches. I got into all kinds of shit pretty heavily. I developed a real hard addiction to cocaine. Started doing it in college. Dropped out. Never finished that shit. Then I got into harder stuff like meth. You ever have meth?" he asked being genuinely curious.
"Nope. Never had meth," Felix replied. He was actually a little surprised Julian was being so open about his addictions.
"Man, its fucking awesome but it's hardcore shit. It will fuck up your life. It fucked me up hard. I don't even speak to my family anymore. Shit, I haven't talked to my brother in years. That shit fucked me up."
"What happened between you and your brother?" Felix asked.
"I fucked his bitch. She was a meth head too. She would fuck anyone that would give her a fix. Shit if anything I did him a fucking favor. That bitch was a fucking whore."
"Was your brother on meth too?"
"Nah. Not him. He was too good for that shit. He did do coke though. He never turned to meth. Shit. I don't know anymore. Maybe he did. I wouldn't fucking know would I? I haven't talked to the bastard in years. Shit, maybe he's dead. I don't fucking care..." he said taking another drink from his beer. "Anyway, did a lot of drugs. Still do, haha," he said letting out another one of his wet, gargled laughs.
Felix was becoming more uncomfortable with the conversation. He just wanted to finish his beer and leave. He was just looking for an opening that wouldn't cause any arguments. It was starting to feel like at any moment this guy would just fly off the handle and get angry. But then he said something that finally grabbed Felix's attention.
"You know I died for real once. My fucking heart stopped. I literally died for like five, ten minutes. Who the fuck knows. But it felt like a fucking lifetime. I O.D.ed."
"Oh shit. That's scary man," Felix replied with real interest.
"Yeah. But that's not even the crazy part. They brought me back and shit in like minutes but it was what I saw. I felt like I was gone for hours. And I saw it man. I saw Hell. I know I ain't no good Jesus boy or nuthin' and if there is a heaven I ain't going there. I saw Hell and it was fucking scary. I saw demons and shit," he said taking a huge gulp of beer. "And let me tell you they don't look like how the movies show you. Every demon looked different. No one tells you those are demons. You just know when you see them. Something in your soul," he said as he tapped his chest hard with his fingers, "tells you they are demons. There were fucked up ones that had eyes all over. Some were a squirming mess of muscle and tentacles," he continued as he moved his arms into wild gestures mimicking what it looked like. " Some were just these grey looking people things with tiny red eyes and no nose or mouths or ears. Just holes where those things should be," he said stopping only to take another drink.
Felix liked this type of stuff. He liked reading horror novels and watching horror movies. He didn't really believe in those types of things but he left enough room in his beliefs that he could be wrong about it all. And admittedly enough, all this kind of stuff was terrifying just by itself even if it wasn't real. He knew enough people believed this stuff and that was enough for him to be cautious about it.
"What did you do?" Felix asked with genuine curiosity.
"I'll tell you man, when you die and you're a wicked motherfucker like me you get covered in darkness. Like a blanket being wrapped around you. Everything becomes silent. You are still completely aware of your own consciousness or whatever. Like you still know it's you. So like, you hear complete silence in like infinite darkness, right. But then you start hearing screams and moans of pain from far away like you're moving closer to it. Then you start feeling it. This pain. But not like pain you feel on your body. Not like physical pain. It's like this stabbing pain you feel in your mind. It's hard to describe the fucking thing. But it's constant. It's all the time. Almost unbearable. It's like enough for you to know it's there and it hurts like hell but not enough for you to fall to your knees pain, know what I mean. Anyway, so then the darkness kinda goes away almost like opening your eyes from being asleep. And you fucking see it. Pandemonium. The fucking capital city of Hell man. I saw it. You wake up covered in ash. I sat up and there was ash in my mouth. In my eyes. In my ears. It was in my fucking ass too man. It was everywhere kinda letting me know that my idea of my body was still with me. But that it's only there as a vessel to cause me pain. I was way outside the city. I could see buildings that stretched up to the sky so far you couldn't see the top. I saw people getting skinned and their skin growing back. I saw demons do violent sexual things to men and women. It was like nature but horrific. Kinda how you see a lion rip apart a gazelle. That shit is graphic but we all see that shit. Humans do this type of shit too. But this wasn't like porn mixed with devil shit. This was punishment and something about it felt wrong. Or right. Shit. I don't know. Maybe those people deserved it. I don't know how to explain it. It hurt to see. My brain was trying to understand what it was seeing by making it like things I've seen before. But this was like, a feeling inside me. Like my punishment was waiting for me."
Felix was surprised by how articulate he was in his descriptions but also in his insights about what he felt and saw. He's heard people describe weird hellish things before but something about the way he talked about it felt like a suffocating dark cloud had covered their small diner booth. Something felt different in the air. The paranoia you get when you're afraid was thick in the air. Something was off. He couldn't quite put his fingers on it so he just brushed it off.
"I saw some shit," Julian continued a little shaken in his voice. "Like I know I was only there for not very long but there was something that came back with me. When they revived me, some of that shit stuck on me. Like dipping your finger in black oil or something. Or getting sick and you carry it around with you. You get back and I shouldn't have and it sticks to you like a sickness and it spreads. Infecting others," he said before taking a moment to take sip from his beer. "Like you," he said looking at Felix with fierce eyes.
"What do you mean?" Felix asked, "Like I'm infected? Nah man. It's cool and stuff but I don't really believe in all that."
"The thing is, is that you don't need to believe. It doesn't give a shit. It infects you anyway. One thing I realized when I got back was that there are a lot of infected. They maybe didn't die the way I did but they got close to someone like me or you, and now the shadows, shit maybe demons, follow them," he said as he looked over his shoulder before looking back at Felix. "I see them. They're fucking everywhere. I think they're demons. They move like shadows though. Sometimes they show their true form but usually they like to move like shadows."
"Nah man," Felix replied trying very hard to brush it off.
"What? You don't fucking believe me? Fine. Fuck you," he said taking another gulp of his beer before continuing. "The thing is, you're probably already infected now."
"Oh yeah? Me?" Felix replied.
"Yeah. You might not believe me right now but you'll see them without even knowing it. You'll try to let your brain explain it somehow but you'll know. You won't see them directly. Not like I do. It'll be out of the corner of your eye. You'll see movement. Or you'll see a shadow move that shouldn't. You'll think you hear something. It gets worse at night, believe me. You'll see them in the corners of rooms or standing in the doorway of a room. But you'll just ignore it at first. That will be enough. But eventually something will spook you. It will be something you can't easily explain away. Shit, why do you think all these people alive who never seen shit or been spooked by anything all of a sudden start experiencing weird shit. It's because they get stained. They come too close to people like me and now you. Shit, I see them right now. I died. I went to Hell. So I fucking see them all the time. I'll tell you, if you smell like something rotting or maybe like smoke when there shouldn't be. Then they're close by. Really close by. If you wake up at 3 am and you smell smoke or something stinks, then they want to hurt you."
"That's good advice. Thanks man," Felix replied trying very hard to dismiss the uneasiness that was growing in his stomach.
"I'm not fucking kidding. I'm only telling you all this because we go way back."
"But then you shouldn't have called me over because then you, how did you call it? Infected me, right."
"But then you shouldn't have called me over because then you, how did you call it? Infected me, right."
"Maybe you're right. And I shouldn't have. Oh well, right," Julian replied letting out a wet, gargled laugh.
"Yeah. Oh well," Felix replied finally taking a large gulp of beer. He was trying to brush it off but a cold shiver crawled up his spine and something about the diner had changed. He looked around to see if anyone else felt it.
"You feel it, don't you," Julian said with a slight wicked smile. "Wooo, goddamn! I knew you would."
Fuck, Felix thought. He was right. He did feel something and he isn't easily spooked.
"Listen man," Julian continued pulling out a pack of cigarettes. He pulled one out and quickly pulled out a lighter from his side pocket, "don't worry about it," he continued while holding the cigarette with his lips. "They don't do shit most of the time. Whatever these things are, they're pussies compared to their Hell brothers. They mostly just stay in the shadows. Sometimes they do shit, like move some stuff. I don't know the rules. But don't worry about it."
"I'm not worried," Felix replied in his most convincing tone but in actuality he was getting a little spooked and he didn't know how to react to it.
"Sure man," Julian replied cupping his hands around the cigarettes as he lit it. He took two or three drags and the tip was an ember red. Silky lines of smoke snaked out of this mouth and into the air. He grabbed the cigarettes with his two fingers, pulling it away from his mouth and asked, "hey man, you want to do some coke? I got some. It'll be fun."
"No thanks man. Remember I'm trying to get back to my place to sleep."
"Oh right, right. Sure. Yeah. I forgot,' he replied before putting the cigarette back inbetween his lips. "You know I like this diner. Because they don't give a fuck that I smoke in here. It's like the good ol' days, right. This is like my third time coming here and it's open all night."
Felix just sat silently.
"The food is shit though, hey, how's your mom and...." and before he could finish there was a tapping on the window from the other side of the glass. It was a tall pale man also wearing a long dark coat. He wore glasses and his eyes were a weird yellowish green color.
"Ah shit man. I'm sorry. That's my cue to go. Here," he said throwing down a pile of cash. "Pay for this shit with this. I gotta go."
"Alright," Felix replied with some sense of relief that this conversation was finally over. He was glad to be done with it. And glad Julian left money. "What about your change?"
"Keep it man. Thanks for talking to me," he said as he grabbed all his things from the table. "Hey, swing by again if you're nearby. Or not. Whatever."
"Yeah. Maybe," Felix replied with no intention of ever returning.
And just like that Julian was gone. Left through the front door and walked away into the dark city with that tall pale man. Felix sat there with a half beer left and though about the things he said. That dreadful dark feeling didn't leave with him. It lingered in the diner. It lingered everywhere he looked. He was beginning to get uncomfortable again but now he was alone. No one to distract him from the dread that was building. He waved the waitress over and paid the tab. There was a lot of change left. He appreciated that at least. Tonight wasn't a complete waste. He got some free cash. He got up from the table and left the diner. The night felt different from before. Different than when he left his apartment.
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