The Sudden Silence

"The Sudden Silence"

He sat in his favorite spot like he normally did outside the restaurant.  He liked to people watch.  He would order old Tennessee whiskey on the rocks and a plate of french fries.  And he would sit outside and watch the people as they passed by, casually sipping his drink and picking at his fries.  He liked the smooth caramelly burn of the whiskey in his throat under a warm sun.  An earthy, cedar like taste that filled his nostrils as he sipped.

     He would take at least three or four sips before he did his first jump.  He would look around and find anyone that looked interesting for him to jump inside their minds.  Today, he wanted to start with something simple.  He saw a child, probably five years old walking with his mom.  Let's start there today, he thought.  He stared at the child for a moment before he felt a click inside his mind.  Something in his mind would lock on with the other person, like a key entering a keyhole.  He didn't know exactly how it worked but it had become second nature for him to do.  Almost like breathing.  He would just concentrate and his mind would connect to the other person's mind.  

     He jumped inside the child's head and could hear all the thoughts the child was thinking in that moment.  Look at the flowers, oh wow, those are nice.  I should tell my mom. Mom, mom, look, mom.  He could hear the child's inner thoughts as he watched him from where he was sitting.  It wasn't mind control.  He couldn't make the person do anything.  And he couldn't communicate with them in this state either.  The only thing he could do was listen.  As long as he could see them, he could hear their inner thoughts.  Whatever they were thinking in that moment.  He had never seen memories or past thoughts. Nothing like that.  Just their inner voice. 

     When he first discovered he could do this, it was terrifying.  He thought he was losing his mind.  Hearing thoughts that weren't his made him feel like he had lost his grip on reality.  The first time it ever happened, he had accidentally done it to his mother.  He was fourteen at the time.  He was angry with her.  She had just told him he couldn't go hangout with his friends until his chores were done.  They argued and he ended up just staring at her angrily.  That's when his mind clicked with hers and out of nowhere he could hear the voice of his mother inside his head.  Even as she just stood there silently he could hear, Ugh, I hate when you look at me like that.  Bratty kid.  Just do what I'm telling you and you can go hangout with your friends.

"What did you say?" he asked his mom.

She looked at him confused, "I didn't say anything."

"I heard you, what were you saying," he said growing frustrated because he knew he had heard her voice.  Why was she lying to him.

"Jacob, I didn't say anything..." What is this now, is he trying to annoy me on purpose. Just go do your chores...sometimes I swear, he's such a handful. 

He could hear both of her words at the same time.  It was a jumbled mess.  It took years for him to figure out what was happening.  But it was terrifying at the beginning.  He thought the demons he read about in the bible or saw in movies were real and they had found him.  Like he couldn't control his own thoughts.  Then he finally realized that was because the voices he was hearing were other people's thoughts.  That took many, many years to figure out.  And it took just as many to figure out how to control this ability naturally.  It seemed pretty useless for a time.  Most of the time, he didn't want to hear other people's thoughts.  Most people were just selfish assholes that complained about others constantly and thought about things they wished they could say out loud but never do.  He realized later that he could use the information he heard to smooth talk his way into getting things or getting out of things.  Like one time, how he had gotten out of a parking ticket.  

     He had stayed inside the restaurant for too long and forgot about the parking meter.  As he came back to his car, the meter maid had just started writing the ticket.  Usually once they get their pen out, that's it, there is no getting out of the ticket.  But he had an advantage.  He could hear what she was thinking.  He walked up casually and jumped into her head.  She was attractive.  She had a small, tight frame and long, silky hair.  Gorgeous face but she looked like she had a long day.  He could here her thinking this sign is mostly covered, I could just give them a warning.

He would start there.  He then asks her, "oh no, can you please just give me a warning this time?"

"No, I don't think so," she said but thinking at the same time, you are cute, hmm, maybe if you had told me you couldn't see the 2 hour parking limit sign, then just maybe.

"I couldn't see the parking sign," he then said immediately.

She continued to think to herself, I'm usually never patrolling this area anyway, she thought, and it is covered.  If they contest it, the judge is just going to throw the ticket out. But, I just finished writing the date though...I don't know.

"Look, I just started writing..." she began before he interjected.

"I bet it's only the date though," he replied in a quick smooth manner as he flashed her a friendly smile.

Her minded drifted for moment to his looks. She thought, he is kinda cute.  Too bad I'm working.  It's been a hell of a day and could go for a drink.  I'm almost off too.  And I just got these earrings and could use a drink.  Too bad.

"Those are lovely earrings," he said.

"Oh," she said a bit surprised, "Thank you," she replied as she lifted her hand away from the blank ticket pad and gently touched her earrings.  

It was working.  He just had to keep smooth talking her.  It was fun for him.

"They look gorgeous," he said. "They look very well taken care of," he said trying to steer the conversation away from the ticket.

"Yeah, well, I just got these, actually" she said smiling.

"Well, they are beautiful," he said know full well she had just gotten those.  He had been listening to her thoughts after all. "You have good taste," he continued.  "Sounds like they need to be taken out for a drink then.  Listen, why not let me save the money I was going to have to spend on this ticket and let me spend it on you instead?  What time are you off?"

Wow, he's a smooth talker, she thought to herself.  Any other day she would have said no but today had been hell for her and there was nothing wrong with having a drink with someone, she thought.

"I bet today has been a long day for you," he said, "let me treat you."

Damnit, she thought.  What the hell.  "Okay, why not.  I'm off in thirty minutes.  How about you leave your car parked here and I won't give you a ticket.  And I'll meet you here in about thirty five minutes."

"Sounds perfect," he said giving her that smooth smile she already liked so much.

     Later that night, they both had a few drinks and talked and he knew the exact perfect response for almost everything she said.  It was easy when he could hear what she was thinking. They went back to her place.  Took off each other's clothes as they stumbled through her front door, kissing and rubbing and groping each other.  They had sex that night.  It was the best sex she ever had.  Because he could hear exactly what she wanted at any given moment.  He could hear what she liked and didn't like.  And then, he left in the morning.

*****

     Knowing people's thoughts made it easy to have one night stands like that.  It also made having conversations really easy.  He knew how to connect with people so they liked you.  He could even manipulate people if he wanted to.  If you got good enough at reading their social cues, their anxieties and intentions, combined with listening to their inner thoughts, you could manipulate anyone. But he didn't like to do that to anyone though. Even if he liked to try to smooth talk. Most people are already being manipulated by someone in their life.  He didn't need to another person doing that to them.  Plus, he wasn't trying to change anyone's life.  He just liked to jump in and out of people's minds quickly.  Keep it simple and leave it at that, he thought.  That was his rule.  However, he did intervene into a child's life once.  Breaking his rule.

     He had just randomly jumped into a nine year old girl's mind one day, that was walking with her mother.  He was just people watching like he normally did and she had looked unnaturally sad.  Too sad for a normal nine year old.  It made him curious.  He clicked his mind and jumped into the little girl's thoughts.  It wasn't obvious at first to hear any kind of reason for why she was so distraught because he was only listening to her thoughts that she was thinking right at that moment.  It was just normal, random nine year old kid stuff.  I want ice cream.  I want mommy to buy me a toy.  Things like that.  But then he saw it.  Her father had returned from wherever he was and joined the mother and daughter.

Oh no.  Daddy's back. I don't like how he looks at me when we're outside.  I don't want people to know that he touches me down there.  Mommy would be mad at me if she found out.  No one would believe me, that's what Daddy says.  I wish he wouldn't look at me when we're outside.

     He was horrified when he heard.  He saw the silent sadness of this girl's face and it sank his heart into the deepest depths of grief and anger.  Knowing what was happening to this little girl made his entire soul catch on fire.  He didn't know what to do.  He didn't know how to help this little girl but he couldn't just ignore it and walk away.  He had to do something. He desperately tried thinking of something but nothing came to mind.  So he instead he went over to the three of them and walked behind them for a few minutes.  He clicked his mind and jumped into the father's mind.

Now where are we going? I'm tired of being out.  She never makes up her fucking mind.  Where is this old run down hag taking me now.  I can get better than her.  I can get younger too.  Can't she just buy her fucking shoes or whatever already and be done.  

     Jacob's blood boiled.  This guy wasn't saying anything he could use to help this little girl.  All he knew was that he really hated his wife.  He listened for a few more minutes.  Fuck, this day has been only about her, her, her. I'm stressed out and tired.  I think I'm going to need my little stress reliever tonight, he thought to himself.  The father then looked at the little girl and smirked.  Anger began overwhelming Jacob's entire body.  He couldn't let this disgusting piece of shit go without getting something that would help him help this little girl.  But there was nothing.  He felt helpless.  What could he do?  So he just blurted out "Hey, don't I know you?"

The father turned around looking at him confused, "You talking to me?" he replied.

"Yeah.  Don't I know you?" Jacob continued.

"No bud, I don't think we know each other,"  What's this guy's problem.

"Aren't you Hank from over on Dearborn street?" he said hoping he would reveal his name to him.

"No man, I'm not Hank from over on Dearborn street," This guy needs to get the fuck out of my face or else.  

"Or else what," Jacob said.

"What did you say?" he said confused.

"Fuck!.....oh shit, I'm sorry," Jacob said as he covered his mouth.  "You probably don't like swearing in front of her," he said gesturing to the little girl.

The mother then replied, "it's okay.  Come on Harry, let's go.  Here Holly, grab my hand."

"Harry! That's right.  Harry.  Now I remember."

"Yeah, let's go," Harry said.

"I'll be seeing you soon Harry.  You ladies have a great day."

What the fuck was that about.  Too bad I was with the girls or else I would have fucked him up, Harry thought.

"Sure you would have Harry.  Sure you would," Jacob replied so that he could hear him.  Harry just stared back at him in confusion.

     After the family had left the area, he followed them to their home.  He wanted to know where this Harry fuck lived.  He had to do something.  He had no evidence that would help this little girl and the police weren't going to just take his word for it.  He knew they weren't going to do anything.  He could call CPS but that could take a long time and he had no relationship with the family.  They would ask more questions about him than about them.  He had to think of something. Don't worry Holly, I'm going to help you, he told himself. I'm not going to let him hurt you.

     He then left and returned to the house as the sun was going down.  He had come up with a plan and needed the cover of darkness.  He had gotten a few things when he left and made a few phone calls.  He had given the address and full name of Harry to a small organization that hunts and catches predators like him.  They could hunt him after he was done with his plan tonight.  They could keep a watch for him.  Maybe even get him to go to prison.

     He waited in his car to get dark.  He watched the house but because all the windows had the curtains closed and he could see no one, he couldn't mind jump.  It was a two story house with the type of windows that you lifted to open.  They had a side wooden fence that led to the backyard.  That's where he would enter, he thought.  He grabbed the black ski mask he bought earlier and grabbed a crowbar and a pair of brass knuckles.  The brass knuckles were illegal in this state but his friend had got him a pair for his birthday.  But that's another story.

     He got out of his car and quickly made his way across the dark street toward the house.  He then hopped over the fence and looked at all the windows on the side.  He was going to have to break one of them.  He searched for the perfect one to break as he hid in the shadows.  He crept around the house being very careful to stay in the shadows.  He was dressed in all black.  The family it seemed, had all went to bed already.  He just needed a perfect way to get in.  And just then, Harry walked outside through the back sliding door.  He didn't notice Jacob.  He couldn't.  He was completely hidden within the shadows just beyond the edge of the light.  

     Harry was having a cigarette.  He pulled out a pack, slid one out and lit it.  He inhaled deep before tilting his head back and exhaled toward the sky.  I should take him now, Jacob thought but stopped himself.  He was going to wait until he turned to go back inside.  He didn't want to do it outside.  What if the neighbors heard.  He was going to get him as he finished his cigarette and walked back inside.  As he waited, he jumped inside his mind.  He wanted to hear this fucker's thoughts.  He stared at him with anger in his eyes and his mind clicked.  He was inside this man's head.

Fuck, what a day, he thought.  I need some release.  I'll make a drink first and then wake up Holly.  Yeah.  That's a good idea.  Janet is already dead asleep.  She won't hear anything.  She never does.  I'm usually really quiet.  And Holly doesn't make a sound.  She's a good girl.  Daddy's little good girl.

      Jacob could feel his anger building inside him like a raging fire.  He could barely control the rage.  He could feel his fists tightening until his knuckles were white.  Harry took his last drag of his cigarette and threw it on the ground and stepped on it.  And just as he turned and opened the sliding door, Jacob came up from behind him and hit the back of his head with the crowbar.  Harry collapsed to the ground spraying blood across the kitchen counter and ripping out tufts of hair.  Harry fell face first to the ground and slowly turned over to see his attacker.

"What the fuck?" he said in a groggy voice.

"Shut the fuck up!" Jacob shouted.

"What's going on?" Harry said in a scared voice.

"I said shut up!" Jacob said screaming again.

"I have money.  You want money.  I have it.  Take it," he said as he started crying pathetically.  He looked like a scared little rich boy thinking he could buy his way out of this.  Fuck this man Jacob thought. 

"No Harry, I don't want your fucking money."

"Take anything. Just don't hurt me," he said as he slobbered over himself as he cried.

The pathetic way he was crying and pleading and begging just made Jacob angrier.  He wanted to beat this man to death.  What a weak, pathetic person, Jacob thought.

"Don't hurt you?" Jacob asked, "You want Me, not to hurt You?" Jacob continued in a tone of disbelief.  "And what about Holly? Who's going to keep her safe from you?" and as Jacob said that the mother came down the stairs.

"What's going on? Harry, what is this? Who are you?" she said in a panicked tone.

"Don't worry about me," Jacob said raising the crowbar toward her.  "Did you know what he was doing to Holly?"

"What?" she replied in confusion.

"What. He." Jacob repeated moving the crowbar back and pointing it at Harry.  "Was doing. To. Holly?"

"I don't know what you are talking about," she said as she started crying.  "What was he doing to her?  What do you want from us?"

Jacob then clicked on his mind and jumped into hers.  She was running wild with so many questions and genuine confusion.  She really didn't know what Harry was doing to Holly.  He jumped out and told her, "I'm here because this piece of shit has been molesting your daughter Holly.  And I wasn't going to let that happen anymore.  Don't ask me how I know.  I just know.  And he's not going to get away with it anymore," he said refocusing his attention to Harry.

"I have never done anything to Holly," Harry cried out with his arms outstretched trying to beg.  Jacob just looked at him and calmly pulled out his brass knuckles.  He slid them over his fingers all the way to the knuckles.  Harry saw him put them on and began to sob like a baby, begging for Jacob to listen to him.

"Oh God! Please! No! Please! Please sir.  I'll do anything."

And Jacob just calmly grabbed him by his shirt collar and began punching his face.  He swung down hard as the brass knuckles connected to Harry's face.  Breaking teeth.  Ripping flesh from his cheeks.  Jaw bones splitting apart.  Harry's face was barely recognizable once Jacob was done.

"You're never going to touch Holly or anyone else ever again.  You HEAR ME!! SAY IT!!" Jacob screamed.

Harry could barely see through his swollen eyes.  Waves of blood ran down over his face and open flesh hung loosely.  His mouth was spilt open. His lips could barely move as normal lips.  He mumbled out what sounded like I will ever touch her again.

And then Jacob continued, "Or I'll be back Harry.  And I won't be nice like this time.  I will hurt you worse," he said as he pulled off Harry's pants and underwear.  "But before I'm done here," he continued as he pulled out a large rubber band.  He then grabbed Harry's testicles the way you would grab a dog's or a pig's to neuter them.  He twisted them inside his fist and wrapped the rubber band around Harry's balls.  "Tonight, you gotta pay Harry, you gotta pay with your balls," he said as he quickly sliced off both of Harry's testicles.  Letting them fall to the floor in a wet flop.  Harry screamed in agony. "Next time you pay with your dick, you hear me, you fucking piece of shit." He then looked up at the mother and said, "Watch your girl."  And just like that left out the back and they never saw him again. 

*****

     That was years ago and today, he just wanted to people watch.  Simple things.  He still checks in on children to make sure nothing bad is happening from time to time but admittedly, that event with Holly had changed him.  He had felt things about himself he never felt before.  Things he came to know that he never knew he was capable of and deep down, he liked it.  He liked unleashing pent up anger he felt from a world that he couldn't relate to anymore.  People were ugly, selfish creatures that were capable  of horrible, awful things even if the intentions were good.  After all, his intentions were good.  But what he did to that man, even if he deserved it, was raw, unfiltered awful anger that could be manipulated toward anything.  Someone could use what he felt for their own advantage.  Those types of emotions never benefit anyone in the end.  He had crossed a line and he knew it.

     Ever since that day, he had decided to never intervene in other people's lives again.  It was a hard choice but deep down, he felt it was the right one.  He just sips his whiskey and eats his french fries now.  A habit he has grown to do that he quite enjoys.  But he is nothing if not curious.  And today there is a man standing on the sidewalk completely still with a blank look on his face.  A look that almost appeared dead.  People passing him just ignored him because when you see someone like that you usually don't try to interact with them.  Don't want to get pulled into something you don't want to be a part of.  Maybe he was a drug addict.  Maybe he was sick.  Who knows, he thought.  He took a sip of whiskey and let the smokey burn into his nostrils and let the curiosity overtake him before concentrating.  He let his mind click and he jumped into the man's mind.  

     It was blank.  Not a single thought.  It sounded like how the world sounds when you're underwater.  Just a muffled, watery sound.  No words.  No ideas.  No intents or emotions.  He couldn't hear a thing.  He had never encountered that.  This was new to him.  There was something wrong with this man.  He searched deeper into this man.  Searching for anything, a whisper, a thought.  But he seemed to be absolutely empty.  Just a vast, infinite soundscape of nothingness.  Any thoughts this man had were so far into the void that there was nothing left of him here on this plane of reality.

      Then suddenly, the man's head started moving from side to side as if he was looking for something.  Or someone.  He kept searching until finally his head turned toward Jacob.  This man's eyes found him and stared at Jacob sitting across the way with his whiskey and fries.  Jacob made eye contact with the man.  He couldn't believe it.  Why was he looking at him, he thought.  Could he somehow feel Jacob inside his head? What was going on? This also had never happened to him before.  It was strange.  He started to feel panic and decided it was time to leave this man's mind.  But there was something wrong.  He couldn't.  He pulled but his mind wouldn't let go.  He pulled again but it felt stuck.  Like how it feels when you go fishing and your fishing line gets stuck under some rocks.  He couldn't come back.  He couldn't separate.  Then he heard it.  A voice.

"We see you Jacob."

His eyes widened with fear.  The man was now staring at him with bulging, hungry eyes and a malevolent smile.

"We can hear your thoughts Jacob.  They betray you.  They have already given us all we need to know."

Jacob tried desperately to silence his mind.  He didn't know what was happening but he knew that he was in a dangerous situation.  One he had never dealt with before.

"Oh, how you have lived for so long enjoying the gift you have been given without having to pay any kind of price for it.  Tsk, tsk, tsk.  Well, we're here to tell you that there is a price to pay Jacob.  Oh yes, there is a price." It said with a hungry, ravenous tone. Like a hungry snake, slithering around its prey. Salivating on the thought of swallowing Jacob whole at any moment.  Whatever this thing was, he needed to get away.  He tried pulling again but just couldn't get out of this man's mind.

"Oh no Jacob.  There is no escaping.  We have you in our grips," it said sounding almost like it was licking its lips.  "We have you and do not plan to let you go.  What a tasty treat too.  You will join the rest of them.  Deep down there. Becoming another voice screaming into the infinite void.  Oh what beautiful singing they make," it said as the man began to slowly walk toward Jacob.  "You hear that," it continued, "that muffled, watery sound.  Those are the screams of so many others that we have eaten.  And you will join them Jacob.  You are next. We are going to eat you."

Jacob got up from the table and started to hurriedly walk away.

"Where do you think you're going?"

Jacob just needed to get far enough away, he thought. That's all and he would sever the tie.  Cut them out.  Just like how he does it when he can't see the person he jumps in to.  

"Oh, you think if we can't see you then you will escape," it said amused. "Oh Jacob, you still had so much to learn and you wasted it on feeble, selfish things.  We know.  We can see."

How could it read his mind.  It knew things he wasn't thinking.  Whatever this thing was had capabilities far beyond his own. 

"What the hell are you?" Jacob finally asked from inside his mind.

"We are an ancient being.  Old gods. Consciousness with no boundaries," it said as the empty man followed.

"What the hell do you want with me?" Jacob asked frantically.

"There are so many like you Jacob.  So many who have your gift.  And none of you even know how to communicate with each other.  All unworthy of such gifts."

Jacob hurried back to his car trying to get as far away from the strange man as he could.

"We don't want your flesh Jacob.  That already belongs to another god.  A hellish being.  A price you will pay in blood for the body you have.  It is not a kind god.  From flesh and blood and pain you come, so with flesh and blood and pain you will return.  Nothing is free Jacob.  We just want the part of you that makes you...well, you." 

Jacob could almost hear its lips drooling.  If it even had any.

"What, like my soul? You want my soul?" Jacob asked.

"Yes, you call it that.  But it is so much more than that.  Human beings have barely discovered the tips of their awareness.  The horrors of the cosmos are much, much deeper.  And there are plenty of hungry things out there."

Jacob finally got into his car, turned it on and drove away. But he could still somehow hear the voice in his head.

"There's nowhere to go Jacob. There is only one way this will end.  You found us.  Remember that.  Your soul was too curious and fell into our trap.  An empty mind," it said letting out what sounded like a small chuckle.  "You can have your flesh and blood.  That does not belong to us.  But your sentience. That is ours.  You will have the thin veil of thought just like everyone else.  You will exist inside your own mind just like everyone else.  But we will eat that part of you that can share consciousness.  We eat that part as you are born.  We eat it so deliciously.  But every so often, one of you slips by. You slipped by. It is now time to pay Jacob.  Time to pay your price for such gifts."

And right then Jacob saw a white flash of light and he felt his mind being pulled away from himself until he felt something ripping.  Something existential.  It pulled him apart and then he couldn't see and drove into a telephone pole.

     Jacob woke up later in a hospital.  They said everything was normal and that he hadn't suffered any serious injury.  But everything wasn't normal.  Maybe normal for them but not for Jacob.  Something was lost.  He could feel it.  He couldn't jump his mind anymore.  He couldn't hear anyone else's thoughts.  He existed just inside his own.  He could no longer connect.  A panic of isolation washed over him and he broke down and cried.  He cried hard.  Slobbering over himself as his tears dripped to the ground.  He cried until he couldn't breath.  He felt more alone than at any point in his life.  

     As the years have gone by, he has come to terms with life without his gift.  He still gets random noise in his head that doesn't belong to him.  Random whispers that aren't his.  And the watery, muffled, underwater sound still haunts him.  Gives him nightmares.  But the worst part, and he can't be sure of this, is that he can hear himself sometimes screaming out for help from somewhere far off, in desperate pathetic pleas. He can hear himself begging.  Saying "I'll do anything.  Please.  Please.  Just let me go." He doesn't want to know if what he hears is real or if he has just been sitting in silence for too long with his own thoughts.